Why Am I So Tired All the Time?

Why Women in Their 40s and 50s Feel Exhausted .  And some simple ways you can recharge.

Have you found yourself asking, ‘Why am I so tired all the time?’

It feels like it’s one of the most common things women in their 40s and 50s say!

It’s the kind of tired that settles into your shoulders, makes you forget why you walked into a room and leaves you wondering why you feel so flat when you don’t feel like your day-to-day life is any harder than it used to be.

If that sounds familiar, know you’re not alone!

There are plenty of reasons why so many women feel exhausted, and many of them have very little to do with being ‘lazy’ or ‘not coping’.

At the end we’ll look at a few small habits that might help you. I’m sure you know them already, but sometimes we need someone else to remind us. I certainly do!

Why Are So Many Women Feeling Tired?

For many New Zealand women, life is a constant balancing act.

Work has become busier. Family life is still demanding. Parents are getting older, children still need us in different ways. And, somewhere in the middle of it all, we’re trying to exercise, eat well, and juggle appointments.

Weekends aren’t always relaxing either. They can quickly become filled with kids’ sport, family catch-ups, grocery shopping, housework, and preparing for another busy week.

It’s no wonder so many of us finish each day feeling drained.

The Mental Load Is Real

One of the biggest reasons women feel mentally exhausted is the mental load. The invisible work that nobody really notices.

It’s you that remembers to book the dentist, organise birthday presents, buy more washing powder before it runs out, reply to the school emails, plan dinners for the week and organise your child’s dress up outfit for Friday.

Does it feel like your brain is always running through tomorrow’s to-do list, even as you’re doing today’s chores?

The chores aren’t necessarily tiring. It’s all the thinking, planning and remembering that quietly wears you out.

For me that includes worrying about my children down at uni in the South Island. Specifically what emergency plans they can have in place if an earthquake affects them. They, however, aren’t giving it a second thought!

Could Perimenopause Be Making You Feel More Tired?

If you’re in your late 30s, 40s or early 50s, hormonal changes may also be playing a part.

Perimenopause can affect sleep, mood and energy levels long before menopause itself.

Many women find they fall asleep easily but find themselves wide awake at 3am with a mind that suddenly decides it’s the perfect time to think about work, next week’s meals and whether they remembered to reply to that email.

Interrupted sleep night after night can leave you feeling exhausted, even after spending eight hours in bed.

In hindsight, my issues started in my mid to late 30s and thank goodness I had discovered magnesium oil spray and Epsom salt baths by then. They really saved my sanity, my sleep, and my relationship with my children!

Our Brains Never Get a Break

Years ago, work generally stayed at work. Today our phones come everywhere with us.

• Emails
• Facebook
• Instagram
• School apps
• Bank alerts
• Parcel tracking
• News notifications
• Webinars
• Online learning platforms

I feel exhausted just reading that list!

Even while we’re relaxing on the couch, our attention is constantly being pulled somewhere else. Research has shown that frequent interruptions and constant notifications can increase feelings of stress and make it harder for our brains to truly switch off.

Can Stress Make You Feel Physically Tired?

Absolutely.

When we’re under ongoing stress, our bodies and minds are working harder than we realise. Over time, poor sleep, constant decision-making and feeling like we’re always ‘on’ can leave us physically and emotionally exhausted. Constant low-level stress is a huge drain on your body’s magnesium resources. And low magnesium leaves you feeling depleted, with low energy, and unable to handle the bigger stressors when they come along.

But we often don’t notice how shattered we are. Until we’re made to take a break. It’s on that weekend at the beach that we manage to rest and end up coming down with a cold or a bug!

Small Rituals Can Make a Big Difference

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to think we need a holiday or a luxury spa weekend to recover.

While those things are lovely, they’re not always practical.

The good news is that our bodies often respond just as well to small, consistent moments of rest.

• A short walk after dinner.
• Reading a chapter of a book instead of scrolling your phone.
• Putting fresh sheets on the bed.
• Lighting a candle.
• Drinking a herbal tea.
• Running a warm bath.

We’ve heard from many of our customers that their evening bath has become less about the bath soak itself and more about creating a ritual. It’s like saying to your body “The busy part of today is over. You can relax now”.

Remember – when you add your Salt & Oil soak to your bath, you’re giving yourself a boost of magnesium too, which magnifies the relaxing effects, soothes your muscles and mind and encourages healthy sleep patterns.

One Small Change That Made a Big Difference

One of our customers shared a story that we loved.

She described herself as permanently rushing. She ran her own business, had teenage children, did voluntary work, and felt like she was constantly juggling everyone else’s needs.

By the end of most days she was tired, impatient and felt guilty because she didn’t have much left to give her family. [Let alone herself.]

Instead of trying to completely change her life, she added a simple small habit:

Every Sunday evening became her hour.

She’d sink into a warm bath with added SO Relaxing. She made herself leave her phone in another room. So there was no emailing. No scrolling. No multitasking.

A few weeks later she told us:

“The bath didn’t magically fix my life. But it reminded me that I matter too.”

And she noticed she felt calmer, slept more soundly and wasn’t quite so quick to snap when life became hectic.

We hear stories like this quite often. They’re a lovely reminder that sometimes it’s not about finding more hours in the day. Are you able to make better use of the few quiet moments you already have?

Simple Ways to Feel More Relaxed This Week

Remember – don’t put pressure on yourself to completely reinvent your lifestyle.

Instead, try choosing just one small habit this week. For example:

• Go for a walk around the block.
• Turn your phone off half an hour before bed.
• Drink an extra glass of water.
• Go to bed a little earlier.
• Ask someone else to cook dinner.
• Enjoy a warm bath.
• Read a few pages of your book.

Small habits may not seem life-changing in the moment, but over time they can help create little pockets of calm in your otherwise busy life.

You Don’t Have to Earn Rest

One of the biggest myths many of us believe (I’m still guilty of this) is that we have to finish everything before we deserve to relax.

But you know the truth really!

• The laundry pile will appear again tomorrow.
• The dust will come back.
• There will be more emails.
• Another school notice.
• More dinners to be made and dishes to be washed.

But there is only one you!

Can you leave one of those chores for now, and take 20 minutes to relax in the bath / drink a cuppa while reading a magazine / sit outside and listen to the birds (with your eyes closed so you don’t notice the weeding that ‘needs’ done!).

The world will still be there when you’re finished.

And chances are, you’ll feel far more able to enjoy it.

Dionne x

Important:

Feeling tired from time to time is normal, especially during busy seasons. However, if your fatigue is persistent, severe or affecting your daily life, it’s important to chat with your health care provider. Ongoing tiredness can sometimes be linked to underlying conditions that deserve proper assessment.